Proposition 8, Unicorns, and Lunges...Lots of Lunges

In a landmark decision, U.S. District Chief Judge Vaughn Walker ruled that California's Proposition 8, passed by voters in November 2008, is unconstitutional. In his ruling, Judge Walker stated that Proposition 8 "fails to advance any rational basis in singling out gay men and lesbians for denial of a marriage license. Indeed, the evidence shows Proposition 8 does nothing more than enshrine in the California Constitution the notion that opposite-sex couples are superior to same-sex couples. … Because Proposition 8 prevents California from fulfilling its constitutional obligation to provide marriages on an equal basis, the court concludes that Proposition 8 is unconstitutional.”] The entire ruling can be found here.

Opponents of the ruling have already gotten the ball rolling on the appeals process, and it appears inevitable that the issue of gay marriage will soon find itself on the Supreme Court's docket. It's hard for me to understand why the opposition to gay marriage is so vociferous. I'm pretty sure this is how those who support Prop 8 view the daily life of a homosexual man:

3:00am: Continue sleeping with my eyes open while wearing colorful, feather nipple tassels.
5:00am: Wake-up in a cold sweat and immediately jot down the details of my dream where I finally figured out how to convert my neighbor's child to homosexuality.
5:07am: Go back to sleep...creepily.
6:30am: Wake-up, put on "Faith" by George Michael, and cut the legs off my jeans to make some fab Daisy Dukes!
7:00am: Stretching. Lots of erotic stretching.
10:00am: Choose to continue being gay.
10:01am: Lay on a bear skin rug, have a few cocktails, and think about new ways to threaten the "traditional marriage."
12:30pm: Have a good cry.
1:00pm: Grab my boombox, put on a David Bowie cassette, and meet Lance Bass down at FAO Schwarz to dance and recruit locals to homosexuality.
3:00pm: Run through a meadow flailing my limp arms.
3:30pm: Steal a horse from a sexy cowboy, paste a horn on its face (because we LOVE unicorns), and ride it toward the horizon until I find a rainbow.
3:57pm: Reach the rainbow and have a good cry.
4:30pm: Lose all innate abilities to raise children unless supervised by someone of the opposite sex.
4:45pm: See Satan at the grocery store and say "hi."
5:00pm: More erotic stretching.
5:30pm: Flirt with men that I know are straight because I'm gay and I have no social tact or common sense.
6:15pm: Watch "Glee" on Tivo.
6:55pm: Hand wash and hang dry my feather nipple tassels. 
7:30pm: Watch "S.W.A.T." starring LL Cool J and Sam Jackson because I'm pretty sure that's what straight dudes do and, obviously, I wish I were straight.
7:47pm: Turn off "S.W.A.T." because if that's what it takes to be straight, I'd rather suffer the persecution of being gay.
7:53pm: Start rewriting "S.W.A.T." as a musical starring Nathan Lane, Betty White, and Christopher Walken.
7:54pm: Realize writing "S.W.A.T.: To Protect and Sing" will not make me any more straight. Cease production.
8:00pm: Speak with a lisp.
9:00pm: Apply nipple tassels and take an ice bath.
9:35pm:  Fall asleep and dream about how to destroy Christianity.

Contrary to the beliefs of some, the only accurate representation listed above is the penchant for erotic stretching. But staying limber is important regardless of your sexual orientation. What this boils down to is that marriage is a fundamental right, and the ruling by Judge Walker is a huge step toward true equal rights as defined by the Fourteenth Amendment. Hopefully, the Supreme Court will agree.