Ja"makin'" Me Nervous

As civil unrest continues to fester in Jamaica over the planned extradition of an alleged drug lord, tourists are weighing the pros and cons of vacationing to the island this summer. Let's help them out:

Pros:
-beaches
-sun (unless you look like this)

Cons:
-smelly dreadlocks with guns hidden in them
-no land-based escape route from skeezy drug lords
-street sharks


There seems like an obvious solution here: find a pool, pop a Red Stripe, and throw on Bob Marley's Legend.